I've done it!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!

Well folks the time has come to deliver some extremely good, understated and belated good news to you all:

"at approximately 5.45pm on the afternoon of Thursday 22nd June 2006, Lewis Cains, an unknown struggler from the south east managed to hole a 4 foot putt on his 36th hole of the day at Bishops Stortford Golf Club in Hertfordshire to finally pass his PGA Playing Ability Test by a victorious margin of 5 shots on his no-less than 8th attempt!!!! He could be seen visibly punching the air repeatedly, shouting 'come on!' and then giving his unexpecting father a huge hug as the dawning of an accomplishment he had been dreaming of for over a year and 7 setbacks bestowed upon him........"

What can I say folks, I finally did it! I have writing this blog for over year and attempting to justify all my failures but now I can finally write one in triumph over a golfing monster that has plagued me for what felt like an eternity. First i'll briefly sum up the events on the course and then attempt to put in to words what this whole experience has taught me.

I dont know where to begin really. I guess everything i've worked towards finally came together and I finally managed to handle the immense pressure this test can place on you, particularly on the back 9 holes on the second round when you can see the finishing line. Don't get me wrong, I would say in terms of form I was way short of my best. However, as I have set out to achieve, I have now created a 'B' game which can still get me round a golf course under pressure.

The morning round wasn't the most inspiring round i've ever played. My ball striking was uncharacteristically poor and I had to make quite a few saves towards the end of the round to post 78 which left me with an 8 shot cushion for the afternoon.
I felt confident though. After all, I hadn't played well, so in my eyes I could only improve in the afternoon so I was really liking my chances.

The afternoon didn't exactly get off to the start I required either. My opening tee shot with a 3 iron went smack in to a tree on the right hand side and dropped down at a point which must have only been about 80 yards away from me! Thankfully, I managed a safe bogey and played a much steadier front 9 holes of 38 (+2). This is went I really started feeling the heat as I found myself stood on the 10th tee with a 6 shot buffer between succes and failure.
To be honest I found myself having to make a decision: can I handle the nerves for just 2 hours more and deal with what happens or do I take the safe route and bottle the whole thing (which I've done twice from this scenario). This is when I was amazed at how calm I was and the decision was simple 'you only have to do this once so focus and play each shot on its merit' (dads invaluable advice). I took great comfort in the feeling that I for the first time felt fully in control of what I was doing. I had a game plan that I knew worked so all I have to do is stick to it and focus 110% on each shot and see what happens. Thankfully I played a super back 9 holes which left me stood on the last tee still with that 6-shot buffer.

This is when it could have gone 'tits-up' completely but I believe that fate more than anything else got me through what transpired:
I proceeded to push my 5 wood tee shot way right into the trees. 'Whoops' I thought and with a rye smile towards dad I grabbed a provisional ball. Then, I completey nobbled the second ball along the floor into another tree which shot it off way in to the trees again, definitely lost!!!!
"Oh dear"!
I said to my playing partners that I wouldn't hit a third ball. I was desperate to go and find my first ball and knew if I ended up having to hit 5 off the tee that I would need the walk back to regain some composure. Thankfully my first ball appeared and I managed to recover back to the fairway. As I pulled 8 iron from the bag for my third shot I instantly felt incredibly focused on what I wanted to do and completely faithful that I could hit the ball in to the heart of that green which I did! This was when it finally dawned on me that I had done it! I'd passed and nothing could stop me now. I know i'm an iffy putter at times but not even me could take 7 putts on one green. That walk up there was sweet. I'd been waiting for it for so long and it felt every bit as good as I thought it would be. As I tapped in for my second round of 74 I couldnt help with but shout in excitement and relief.


This definitely feels like the best day of my life to finally get a weight off my shoulders and overcome this test which has destroyed my confidence for over a year. Now, I never have to do it again. I can now fully focus on my career and the next stage of my life, something I've been desperate to be able to do.

If I could offer some words of advice to any golfers who find themselves facing what I've been through and what this experience has taught me, then here you are:
1/ Never ever give up on it! It will happen!
2/ Get a pre-shot routine that guarantees you are fully prepared to hit every shot you face.
3/ Play one shot at a time and play percentage golf from the tees. As dad says 'you are always in the hole if you hit the fairway!'
4/ Have a game plan before you start the round. I found this crucial in helping me stay in the present and gave me confidence because I knew exactly why I was approaching each shot in the way I was and what I was trying to achieve. It reduced the need for worrying about shots later on in the round.
5/ Deep breathing can make the world of difference. I made a point of deeply exhaling just prior to beginning my swing and I believe this got rid of a whole load of tension.
6/ MOST IMPORTANT - trust your ability to swing the club. The 11th at Bishops Stortford has trees left and out of bounds all of the way down the right. It is a potential cardwrecker. I applied myself to this particualr tee shot more than any shot on the round probably and actually enjoyed the idea of putting myself to the test. The fact that I nailed it about 290 yards down the middle definitely re-inforced my belief in this particular advice!
7/ Trust your natural instinct. This particularly applies to chipping and putting. Also, I've learned that I perform better when I vent frustration. It's better for me to 'get it out' provided it's done in a way which doesn't affect anyone else's game or reflects badly on me.

Dad, thank you so much much for being there today. You were instrumental in keeping me calm and although at times it looked like I was angry, trust me, I was fully in control. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did and it was sweet to pass this in front of you.

Thats about all I can write. I am so pleased that I stuck with it. Its horrible to fail anything, let alone 7 times so I can say that this feels like my greatest achievement to date. I honestly believe that I will raise my game a notch now. We'll see.

The next chapter of my life has finally begun........

8th times a charm........

Its 2 days now till my next test, and god willing final test. My approach to this one has finally been very relaxed and non-stressful, compared to the 'got to practise' 'got to practise' theory I've had. I have been a lot less intense with my preparations and consequently have really enjoyed the golf I have been playing. After hitting absloute rock-bottom on the greens one day I have reverted to my cack-handed grip and the first game after doing so saw me make 5 birdies in 15 holes! I have worked on my pitching quite a bit and now at least have some rough ideas on how I can hit it certain distances.

I have had other things on my mind. My nephews mother was taken ill recently but thankfully she is out of hospital now and doing much better.
Also, I was given the responsibility of organising the Junior Open a couple of months back and in the last few weeks my energy has mainly gone in to this. Thankfully the day was a complete success and thoroughly rewarding to have everything go so smoothly and without complaint from any parents.

All these things havent really given me much time or energy to work on my golf which isnt a bad thing. There's nothing I'm gonna learn before my test and I want to go into totally fresh and not 'over-golfed' like I have done in the past. I have spent more time on the course focusing on scoring and making the right decisions during the round.
Again, many friends and colleagues have given me their well-wishes and expressed their belief in me which has been nice. All of that stuff - 'believe in yourself', 'trust your ability', 'work hard' etc whilst being useful, I feel are irrelevant to be honest at this stage. Its far simpler than that - 'GO PLAY GOLF!' It needn't be analysed beyond that and this has screwed me over in the past.
I have made 4 simple promises to myself, all I want to do is enjoy the day with my dad and whatever happens will happen:
1/ I will not get angry under any circumstances. If I feel myself getting hot - I will breathe, deal with it rationally and move on to the next shot.

2/ I will stick to my pre-shot routine for every shot I play and play one shot at a time with 110% care and thought.

3/ I will trust my ability to swing a golf club - I have been playing the game 12 years to a high standard and shots hundreds of scores that would comfortably blitz this thing. I will hit bad shots inevitably during the day but will not seek to change my swing. This is perhaps one of the most destructive things you can do on a golf course.

4/ I will make it a priority to hit the fairways. I have discovered through my stats that from the fairway I tend to hit 2 out of every 3 greens when i'm on the fairway - a stat that I like very much. I will very much be working on playing percentage golf, which dad will be good at helping me with.


I guess you could say that the above 3 points summarize everything that i've learned during this examination experience so hopefully, you could say, i'm more prepared than i've ever been.

Will write in a few days with the outcome, altho to be honest it has no real importance. Life goes on and so do tests.......

Summer is here!!!!!

Hello again. Summer has finally arrived and with, very bad hayfever! Nevermind, its just nice to have the sun on back for a change.

Not masses to report on the golfing front to be honest, have just been working on my short game and trying to adjust to the sudden bone-hard ground conditions that have come with the drier weather.

My little nephew Maxy turned one this week. I can't get over how quickly this time has gone! Its already a year since travelling up to Crowborough to see the newest addition to the Cains clan. Unfortunately I havent seen the lil' guy for a while but he is coming down soon so I'm very much looking forward to this.

I have selected Bishops Stortford again for my test. It's just the better suited day (Clandon would have been the next day) and I prefer playing at Bishops, even tho I havent performed great there. Dad will definitely be on the bag this time which is great as I've realised that this is a very hard thing to do on your own and I cant think of anyone better to keep me calm.

To be honest, thats about it for now.......

Back to work - reluctantly!!!!

Hello again, I have enjoyed a much needed break from golf this past week. My lady, Rachael, whisked me off to Dublin for my 23rd birthday which was a brilliant little break. I got to meet up with a good mate of mine from college who lives there and was more than happy to show us about. Dublin is a great place, highly recommended to anyone. Thanks babe, I had a great time and just wait till your birthday!!!

Also, for my birthday, I took myself to Wentworth again to watch the PGA. I was fortunate enough to witness Luke Donald's hole in one (which happened before the tv cameras were on hand!). It was awesome and everyone went mad. Players that impressed me were Padraig Harrington, Monty (as always), Nick O'Hern and Nick Dougherty (very good ball striker). One thing I learned here was just how good the guys are at chipping and putting (anything that involves recovery). It all seems so clear to me now how bad I am at these areas. How good could I be if I was up-to-scratch in these areas? Lets try and find out! I think my mission is clearer now!

I have managed somewhat to refocus myself to my golf now. To be honest I have been quite negative and despondant towards it this past week and am having to really push for motivation at this stage. Obviously I know my motivation is being ready for my next test but to make myself 'go out there' has taken a lot more than it usually does.
On practical levels, I have thought hard about the technical aspects I feel are in need of improvement. I have whittled these down to mainly short game, particularly paying more attention to my pitching distances with my wedges and most importantly chipping and putting. My swing is ok, I had a lesson today and all I need work on right now is just my alignment and shortening my backswing slightly for more control. Everything else is great, I am swinging on a much better line, hence my 'higher quality of bad shot' of late.

I think the biggest things I am gonna focus on involve being on the golf course. I am going to work on creating a repeatable pre-shot routine which I'm hoping will help to keep me focused when the day comes as well attempting to break my negative thought patterns on the course. Man, this is gonna be hard but i'm gonna follow my bosses advice and take a notebook out with me next time I play and note down certain thoughts and reactions I have when I play. I very much need to learn the art of turning a negative into a positive so hopefully this will be stage one of the process. I only have 3 weeks, but I cant help but think that I won't snap out of this cycle unless I throw the best possible efforts into this that I can with regard to all parts of my game.

We'll see. I've gone back to the drawing board as they say, again!

God I hope its for the last time! I think the of dream of professional golf is currently slowly slipping away. I'll get this back but I can't deny my current change of attitude. Right now i'm running on stubbornness. That's why I won't quit. I can't quit. As Freddie Mercury said: 'I'll face it with a grin, I'm never giving in, On with the show' (altho perhaps in a slightly different context - lol).

Peace out peeps :)