The saga continues......

Well unfortunately the outcome to my test was failure by one shot. That's twice now i've missed it by one but yesterday's one was far more painful than any other. All I can say really is that two bad swings and a LOT of missed short putts culminated in a collapse I didnt think possible.

It was a very up and down day really and with the exception of my final 6 holes I felt very comfortable and certain that I was gonna cruise through. The morning round was particularly solid and I was very proud of the way I knuckled down, considering after 5 holes I thought I was going to be disqualified. I chipped into the hole and the ball got wedged in between the flagstick and the edge of the hole. Without thinking, the dickhead of a caddy to one of the other players in my group picked my ball out of the hole before it had dropped all the way to the bottom. As far as I was concerned, it was a disqualification but wouldnt know until after 9 holes. So I had to continue, knowing I was playing well and was probably gonna be on my way home by home by 11 o clock. I was also preparing myself for demanding that the guys caddy not only gave me the money for another test but also the £60 I'd spent on staying a hotel the night before as I certainly hadn't come here for some pillock to get me disqualified.

I explained the situation to the officials and they said to finish my round and that they would let me know afterwards. 'Great', I thought. I've now got to go ahead and finish what I know is going to be a good round and just pray i'd be ok. I don't think before I would have had the ability to do this but I managed to put it all to the back of my mind and finish the round with a steady 75 (including a ton of missed opportunities), leaving a 10 shot cushion for the afternoon.

I got back to officials who told me that as my ball was under the lip of the hole when it was picked out, I was ok. I was over the moon and certain that now nothing could stop me blitzing it round in the afternoon.

This was where I knew i'd have to put into practise all the mental stuff i'd been working on and was certain that whatever happened, I wouldn't let my temporament interfere and i'd take whatever came my way on the chin. The afternoon was perhaps one of the most painful rounds i've ever played to be honest but I maintain I took each thing on the chin and stayed as positive as I could. I simply got 'stagefright' on the greens and just couldnt putt a damn thing. It was ludicrous and a few loose shots certainly weren't helping. I just couldn't stop my hands shaking on my putts.
Anyways, I battle back and birdied my 9th and 12th holes to leave a 6 shot cushion going into the last 6 holes.
I snap-hooked one out of bounds on the next but stayed calm and reminded myself that I still had loads of shots to play with and was in great shape. I played a solid second ball but unfortunately it was a double bogey and then I bogeyed the tough 14th too.
Again, I said to myself that I was still in great shape and if I par the par-5 15th then I will have a 3 shot cushion with 3 holes to play. Unfortunately I twitched again on a tap-in par putt and this was the first point at which I felt truly unsettled.

On the 16th I pushed my ball into the semi rough and could not find my ball anywhere but again reminded myself that if I can par the second ball and make a double bogey, then I will just have to dig deep on the last 2 holes make 2 very good pars. I hit a solid 9 iron in and made my double.

The 17th is a 180 yard par 3 with a very small green. I took a few deep breaths and struck a sweet 6 iron that went straight over the pin and left me with a 30 foot putt back, which I managed to 2 putt (just!) leaving me walking to 18 needing a par to pass.

18 is a very tough par 4 with water down the right side and I knew I had to hit a perfect drive to give me a good chance. With a few deep breaths I managed to rip a 3 wood straight down the middle of the fairway and a shot left of about 150 yards. This was where I reminded myself that I've worked really hard and deserve this - all I need now is just one good swing. I pulled out a 9 iron and hit it just great - too great!!! It again went straight over the top of the flag and over the green too! I couldn't believe it, thats a bloody long way to hit a 9 iron. What can I say, only poor execution would have saved the shot as I hit it exactly as I wanted. What more can I ask of myself?

Anyways I hit a great recovery and left myself a 3 foot putt to pass. Sadly, I couldnt have hit a worse putt and failure finally dawned on me.

I felt very numb afterwards. I dont know what more I could have done. I ate, drank loads of water, stayed calm and patient, stuck with my swing and trusted my ability and for a large part performed very well with it. For the last 6 holes it was like someone took over my body and it was like that on the greens all day anyway. The main positive I take from this is that I could not possibly have shot a higher score in either round and with all the missed short putts and other errors, was one shot out. One shot less out of the 158 shots I had and i would have been in.
It's a very fine line obviously but the main thing is I know that I can pass playing badly which was my target.

Oh well, there you have it. Onward and upward. Its done now.....